Be a Duck in a Lake of Muck

Teenagers have a lot more stress and temptations than I did in the 1970’s.  But the world is not all bad.  There are still good people and wonderful things to do.

My analogy of this here and now world, is this:  Pretend you are a duck in the middle of a huge lake.  The lake is thick with crap, poop, and all kinds of pollution.  Muck.  But because you are a duck, you have to be there.  You have to swim around in it every day, living your life and doing what ducks are supposed to do in this world.  You have to mosey and smile, looking for something clean or praiseworty.  Yet, as a duck, you have a gift.  As dirty as it is, the filth rolls off your back.  time and time again.

This is the way the world is.  Because we are human, we have to be in it.  If we know who we are, a human,  and know that we have the power, we can let all the evil and negative influences roll off our back.  We can be of the world but not in the thick of it.

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Low Flow Ditty

I watched King of the Hill tonight.  It was the episode where Hank trades in his illegal-in-Heimlich-County regular toilet for a low flow toilet.  That Hank Hill cracks me up.  

It reminds me every time of our house in Washington state.   Of course, Washington and Oregon are know for being vigorously enviornmental.  I don’t know if regular toilets were illegal in Clark County, but we had a low flow in our new house.   A little toilet tank was new to me.   Due to the low volume of water released upon flushing, it wasn’t unusual that the downstairs bathroom always getting clogged if you weren’t paying attention.  So we made a sign:

If you’re going number one
Flush the potty when you’re done.
If by chance it’s number two,
Please flush twice when you’re through.

I wish I’d thought of keeping a tally like in the show.   For the record.  Sweet memories like these were meant to be shared with those you love the most. 

My Favorite Christmas Joke

It was a few days before Christmas and Santa was in a rush. The elves were behind schedule and whining. No matter how they tried to pack the sleigh, it wouldn’t all fit. Many of the orders were wrong, and Santa had to clean up after others’ mistakes. Mrs. Clause was nagging him to quit leaving his jingle bells on the floor, and badgering him to pay more attention to her feelings and other marriage issues. Santa’s mood was foul. Finally, it seemed all was ready. As Santa was hitching up the sleigh, one of the reindeer stamped on his foot real hard and wouldn’t let up. Just then, a little angel walked in with a Christmas tree and said, “Where would you like me to put this?” And to this day, that is why we have an angel on the top of the Christmas tree.

I Should Have That Domain!

I love meeting new people face to face. 

“My name is Linnie.”

“How do you pronounce it?” 

 “L-I-N …  Just like it sounds”. 

 “Oh.  “Lanny”.

What the heck?  “No, Linnie”. 

“I see.  Lindy.”. . .

Telemarketers really have a time.  “Is Winnie there?” 

The biggest rip-off is that every time I try to get an email address or user ID,   “Linnie” is already taken.  How can that be?  I have only heard of, through Google Search,  a few other “real” Linnies, and they are mostly on genelogical records.  They are dead.  The rest are for commercial use, or nicknames.  “Valynn” should not be allowed to use “Linnie”.  She should use “Valynn”.  I’m sure it is very available.   Linnie  is my name.  I am the originalI should have that domain! 

Thanks.  It helps just to blow it out my face and say my piece.  Okay, I feel better now.

My last name?  Oh.  It’s   McClellan.

McClennan?

No, McClellan

McCleelan?

No, McClellan

McClennan?….

Tipped Over

It is expensive to eat out.  Of all the things that siphons cash from your wallet, (not counting your children), having a nice plate of food you didn’t have to cook is on the top of the list.  We don’t eat out much generally.  We like getting away from the three pack about once a week, which is why “date night” was invented. 

Mister and I went out to our favorite restaurant and found that our favorite meals had jumped about 1.50 per plate.  *$%^@!what?  I know that a lot of people eat out all the time.  How do they do it?

Now, I am delighted to pay handsomly when the food is fresh, hot, and the server is good.  The ambiance is important if it is a special event.  I relish in sitting back with a toothpick feeling the warm blanket of sustenance.  But there are some occasions, when the cold food is warm, the hot food is cold, and it looks and tastes like it came out of a dumpster.    I get my little panties in a bunch and rightly so.  On these occasions, when presented with the bill, I feel a little abused.  Further, if the server is Lloyd from Dumb and Dumber, I feel voilated.

I know, I know, that server only gets 1.00 an hour.   I am appreciative that he is working here while acheiving a higher education.  I rally around a young lady who has two jobs and is still smiling.  I say, Good For you!  But for Lloyd to require another fifteen to twenty percent just ’cause, Huh? 

 After all, I choose to pay the Good Lord ten percent of my increase, and he does way more for me than somebody who keeps my water filled for twenty.

No Pine Cones

Early on in my career as a mother, I was certain that I had my family future figured out.  Everyone would talk things out.  My dear sweet angels would  love each other and compliant to my every whim.  Chilldren would be like clay, ready to be molded into perfect human beings.  With no whining, no arguing, and an eternal smile on each beloved face.

Nobody likes a butt.  In our family, If you have a pine cone, it means grumpy, mad, or simply being a hind-ender and affecting the stratosphere.   A perfect time to illustrate this metaphor would have been in the movie, “The Sound of Music”.  When Fraulein Maria sat on that pine cone?  Rheumatism my eye!  If she sat on it hard, she wouldn’t be smiling or dismissing it.  Additionally, if it were to actually disappear when she sat on it . . .  Woah!  Fraulein!  No pine cones, please!

The three pack, T, B, and G have been raised on this concept.  Last year, found a  Christmas ornament in the shape of a huge golden pine cone.   We established a game behind the scenes we like to call, “Pass The Pine Cone”.   Whichever girl has it, she hides the pine cone for someone else to find.  When it is found unexpectedly it is a cause for a smile.  Other times it is a blatant reminder that it is time that person removed theirs.   Somtimes you can get real ticked because the truth hurts.  Especially if the cone you are experiencing that day is a “Sequoya”.

I found the pine cone recently in my underwear drawer.  It has been seen in light fixtures or under pillows.  I have located it in my car and in my freezer.  We seldom speak of it.   This invisable bond of the pinecone.

I can’t wait for December.  December is National No Pine Cone month!   Peace on earth.